


Invisible

by orphan_account



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Double Rainbow Awesomeness, F/F, F/M, I have no idea why I just wrote 'Double Rainbow Awesomeness', Lots of dead people!, My First Work in This Fandom, Rating May Change, Work In Progress, Yee be warned, cursing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2015-03-07
Packaged: 2018-01-24 12:11:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 14,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1604699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tara is dead... but is she really gone? </p><p>Tara haunts the Scoobies' world, where no one can see her. She cannot touch anything without herself going through it, and no one can hear her, no matter how loud she screams. No one can feel her hug or hear her whispered words.</p><p>Will anyone ever hear or feel her? Will anyone ever know she exists?</p><p>The story starts at the end of Seeing Red (s06 e19)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! Hope you enjoy the story! :)
> 
> Miss Kitty Fantastico: I SHALL DESTROY THE WORLD AND EVERYONE WHO LIVES IN IT! MUAHAHAHA!
> 
> Me: They really should have made a Dark Miss Kitty rather than a Dark Willow. I mean really, Joss. What's not to love about an evil kitten?
> 
> ANYWAY, just go and read the chapter. Go on! Don't be shy.
> 
> Why are you still reading this? Please just read the story!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tara is dead... but is she really gone?
> 
> Tara haunts the Scoobys' world, where no one can see her. She cannot touch anything without herself going through it, and no one can hear her, no matter how loud she screams. No one can feel her hug or hear her whispered words.
> 
> Will anyone ever hear or feel her? Will anyone ever know she exists?
> 
> The story starts at the end of Seeing Red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN REDONE! 
> 
> Thank. The. Lord. This chapter has been SCREAMING for a redo since the dawn of time. And I finally redid it. It wasn't easy, but I did. 
> 
> Word. 
> 
> Sorry if the continuity is a little weird. I can't remember when Willow quit magic and how long it was before she got back together with Tara. My guess is about a month or two. 
> 
> ANYWAY, I hope you enjoy the story!

_This is the place where I sit_

_This is the part where I love you too much_

_This is as hard as it gets_

_'Cause I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough_

_I'm here if you want me I'm yours you can hold me_

_I'm empty and taking and tumbling and breaking_

 

_\-- Line from You Don't See Me, by Josie and the Pussycats_

 

The sun's light seemed to drape the room with a soft, yellow glow. A pair of green eyes were there before me, twinkling with happiness and joy. Red hair danced around my vision, accompanying the eyes. Her smooth hands were intertwined with mine, her fair skin seeming to light up her surroundings. 

In other words, my everything was right there. My Willowtree. 

But was it still her?

Only about a month or so ago, she had been high on magicks and almost killed Dawn... only about three months ago I had left her... only about three months ago, she had brainwashed me... only about a year ago, I was brainwashed by Glory...

Can I trust her?

The eyes... they seem trustworthy. The face... so familiar. Yet still a stranger. The hair... always beautiful. Always there. There for me to recognize. There for me to stroke. 

Soft lips pressed against mine, and I felt it. I felt the love again. 

She never fails to do that. 

How could I be so ungrateful? She always loved me. Even though she brainwashed me. She stopped the magicks for me. Everything she does is for me. At least, she thinks of me when she does it. 

The kiss breaks. 

But still... she brainwashed me even after everything with Glory... can I forgive her? I didn't know if I could. There was so much to fix... so much wrong that we needed to right. So much unsaid...

My eyes focus off of her for a second as she pulls me in an embrace. It's warm, and made me feel like nothing would ever be terrible or sad or bad again... not like it was. 

My vision flits out of the room and gazes into the backyard. Xander was talking to Buffy and I smiled a bit. Maybe they could get over what had happened yesterday. I wasn't really bothered by it. I thought Xander just needed to grow up a bit and figure out how much pain he had put Anya in. 

Then again, I had only been listening to Anya rave about it ever since their wedding went bad. I never heard Xander's side of the story.

"Mmm... Xander." I said as I pulled back from the embrace. 

"Okay, not really the response I was looking for." she said, smiling teasingly at me, red hair floating around her head. I gave her a lopsided grin, and turned to the window.

"No, he's here." I said, and turned back to her, moving closer to the window. 

"Are they making up?" she said, staring at me a little anxiously. I flashed a glance back at her.

"I hope so," I then smiled at her again, eliciting a response of a smile from her. "That's the best part."

She moved back towards me, and kissed me again. She smiled more broadly, and I embraced her lightly in response. My fingers traced the neck of her brand new, white buttoned-up shirt. Her hand clasped mine and she rubbed her nose with mine, letting an 'mmmm' escape from her lips. 

I broke the touching when I turned to look out the window again. Everything seemed fine. 

I turned back to her, and grinned at her, pushing my doubts aside.

Just one perfect day would be nice. And it looked like this would be that day.

Suddenly, before I could turn my head around, I heard shouts and the sound of a gunshot. 

I heard the window break before I could even move a muscle. 

Then there was pain.

My world spun around, a sudden unbalance forming in it. I saw her stiffen, small drops of red splattering all over her nice, white shirt. I felt tears come to my eyes. I never meant to mess it up. 

But it wasn't the shirt that scared me.

It was the look in her eyes.

Her face was in horror and confusion. The blinding pain and the fear and the confusion was too much for me. My vision turned red. My legs buckled. The only thing I could get out was:

"Your shirt..." There was so much more I wanted to say. But I was falling through the air. There was nothing I could do. 

I never even felt myself hit the floor. My sight was rapidly fading, my hearing slowly escaping.

I lived long enough to hear her cries. Her cries of pain.

I desperately wanted to tell her that I loved her... but my mouth wouldn't move. The pain was too much. 

 

My soul left without a word. 

 

 

**To Be Continued...**

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now THAT was much much much better than the original version. Whew. I like this a LOT. :)
> 
> Did you notice that she never mentions Willow by name? Of course, she calls Willow her Willowtree, but that doesn't count. :I


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oooooh... I wonder where Tara is now. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little longer. Yay!

_I feel a warmth around me_

_like your presence is so near,_

_And I close my eyes to visualize_

_your face when you were here_ _,_

_I endure the times we spent together_

_and they are locked inside my heart,_

_For as long as I have those memories_

_we will never be apart,_

_Even though we cannot speak anymore_

_my voice is always there,_

_Because every night before I sleep_

_I have you in my prayer._   
  
  


_\-- Memories, by Louise Bayley_

 

 

The next thing I know, I’m standing in the middle of a meadow, the stars illuminating the sky. The moon shone down upon the tall grass, making the ground look blue and black rather than green and brown. I breathed hard, suddenly all the memories I ever received in my life slamming back into my brain.

The most painful and vivid one was what I just experienced: getting shot. I sat down on the grass and cried, tears flowing from my eyes. I looked up at the stars and stood up, anger and frustration starting to flare inside me.

“What good things have you ever done for me? Why must my fate have been like that?! First my sister... then my mother... Joyce... Buffy... now me! What are you trying to do?!” I shouted, and then fell into tears again, kneeling down on the grass and crying hysterically. I was so alone... would I be here forever? I couldn’t just sit in this empty meadow for the rest of eternity.

“You said you would be waiting for me...” I whispered. “Mom... you said you would be here for me...” I cried for what seemed like years upon years. Finally, I just simply sat in the grass, the last of my tears dribbling down my cheeks. I rested myself on my back, staring up at the stars. I could only remember when Willow and I once sat and looked up at the same stars... the only thing that remained the same after so much.

 

_“I used to love to look up at them when I was little. They're supposed to make you feel all insignificant but they made me feel like ... like I was in space. Part of the stars. There's Canis Minor. Cassiopia.” Willow said, snuggling closer to me under the blanket. We were staring at the stars from a rooftop, pointing out constellations. I smiled, and pointed her to a constellation my mother had helped me create in my mind when I was little._

_“The Big Pineapple.” I pointed to a large group of stars in the sky, smiling as I saw the mild confusion on Willow’s face._

_“Um... you know... not sure I remember that one.”_

_“Oh, it's a major one. See those three bright stars right there?” I started jabbing my finger at the group of stars again for more emphasis._

_“Yeah...”_

_“And see those stars along there? That's the bottom of the pineapple.” I showed Willow the stars that made a sort of semi circle, like the bottom of a pineapple._

_“It's big.” Willow said, smiling and laying her head on my shoulder._

_“Hence the name. The real ones never made sense to me. I sorta have my own.”_

 

I smiled and one last tear streamed down my cheek as I remembered that night. I almost felt happy until I realized once more where I was. Alone.

I sat in silence, my anger already out and starting to make peace with myself. The stars twinkled at me, and I smiled. My situation was so heartbreaking that it made me happy.

Staring at the dark sky, I suddenly noticed that the stars seemed closer to me than they ever did during my lifespan. For the first time the question echoed through my head,

 _Where am I?_ The words rang through my mind, and I rose to my feet. I stared up at the moon, which was much closer and bigger than it was last night. Suddenly, the ground shook. I fell backwards back onto the grass again, and by the time I managed to get myself up again, a stream of light was heading toward me.

 _What’s that?_ I thought, biting my lip. _What’s it doing?_ I stood rigid and still, watching the light thundering toward me. As the light came closer, the more afraid I became. Tears again started to stream from my eyes. My legs shook.

The light was about ten feet away. I bit my lip harder. My hands started to shake. I backed away a step, but then returned to my original place.

“Whatever you’re going to do to me, light, I probably deserve it.” I whispered. My head bowed, and I watched as a tear slipped off my cheek and heard a small _drip_ on the ground.

The light stopped right in front of me. I looked up incredulously, and immediately felt the heat of the light against my face. The white light started to take shape, and I almost immediately knew who it was shaping.

 

“M...m...mom?”

 

 

 

**To Be Continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger is now to be resolved. Yay. Sorry that all my summaries are short, I just really have nothing to say...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The sadness ensues. Might get hit in the feels on this one, but you never know. Poor Dawn and poor Tara, neither can comfort each other.

_A lonely star_   
_Sits in the sky_   
_It starts to flicker_   
_and begins to cry_   
  
_A lonely star_   
_looks down on us all_   
_It takes a step_   
_and starts to fall_   
  
_A lonely star_   
_Falling down_   
_like an apple from a tree_   
_it still wears a frown_   
  
_A lonely star_   
_laying on the ground_   
_it looks to the moon_   
_a home it never found_   
  
_A lonely star_   
_whose light is fading_   
_is cold and crying_   
_She spent her whole life waiting_   
  
_A lonely star_   
_blinks her goodbye's_   
_her light goes out_   
_and she slowly dies_

- _\- A Lonely Star, by Mikayela Dzenowski_

 

 

“M...m...mom?” I said, my eyes widening and crying again. But this time there was a different reason for it. The light finished and was transformed into a beautiful, pale-skinned, golden-haired woman.

This wasn’t the woman I remembered. I remembered a tired woman, with sad eyes yet with a fiery soul. This person... she was fiery and energetic all around. My memory jogged a little bit at the sight of her. This is what she looked like when I was little, but after my sister died... her appearance deteriorated, but she still remained strong against the huge force of my father and brother.

“Tara.” my mom said, holding out her arms in a hug. I gaped. It had been five years since I had seen my mom, and she looked so much different.

“Mom...” I whispered, and hugged her, the sweet, familiar smell of jasmine all around me, radiating from my mother. I always remembered her smell, even after she died only five years ago.

“Tara, darling, I don’t have much time.” my mother suddenly said, withdrawing from the hug. My face became confused.

“Mom, I’m dead... I think we have all the time in the world.”

“No, Tara, I have all the time. But you don’t.”

“Wait, why?” I asked. How could I have limited time? There’s nothing left to live for because I was dead. And so, I had all the time I wanted.

“You’ll find out. Snap your fingers three times.”

“What?”

“Snap your fingers three times.”

Okay, now this was weird. But I guess I should listen to my mother. Slowly, I brought my arm up, and snapped my fingers. Once. Twice. Three times.

 

And everything went black. Again.

 

***

  


Slowly, my eyes opened again. I was standing in my bedroom, where I had died.

Did I earn a second chance or something? I thought, and looked around. Willow was nowhere to be seen. I looked down at the ground, and gasped in horror.

I did not earn a second chance.

My body was sitting there, a bloody opening in my chest where the bullet had gone through.

“Oh my god... oh my god...” I whispered, and knelt down. It was so... unnatural. My body’s eyes were staring emptily into the air, never to blink or close again. My face was permanently twisted in a mixture of confusion, sadness, and pain.

I suddenly heard a sound at the door, and then footsteps as someone walked through.

“Buffy?” I heard Dawn shout, obviously looking for her older sister.

Oh god... she’s going to find me! I thought, tears staining my cheeks again. I rose up, still staring down at my dead body.

“Buffy?!” Dawn shouted again, this time her footsteps sounding on the stairs. I heard her footsteps coming toward the bedroom. I immediately stepped in front of the door.

“Dawn! Don’t go in here!” I shouted to her, but she didn’t seem to hear me. She walked right through me, and took a peek through the door. I gasped. I was transparent... and invisible.

“Hey, the door was open... Tara?” At first, I thought Dawn had heard me, but I was wrong.

Dawn saw my dead body.

I watched as she collapsed to the floor, everything else forgotten as Dawn looked at my body.

“Shhh... Dawn. It’s okay. I’m right here!” I whispered, wrapping my arms around her in a hug, hoping she would feel it.

But my arms and hands went right through her. Tears fell down and disappeared before they could reach the ground. I tried the best I could to comfort Dawn, but she couldn’t see me. Tears slipped down my cheeks again.

“Oh, Dawn... I wish I could touch you. I’m right here.” I whispered in Dawn’s ear, but to no avail. I did not exist in her world.

“Tara... why did you have to die?” Dawn moaned at my body. Buffy’s sister’s sobs just made my heart shatter. I kissed the top of her head as best I could.

“Someday, you’ll see me again, Dawn. I promise.” I followed Dawn as she made her way to the corner of the room, huddled against the wall, and staring at my body listlessly.

“Why did you have to leave? Why did you leave me alone? I’m not going to do that. I’m not gonna leave you, Tara. I never will. Never... I wish Buffy and Willow could bring you back...” Dawn whispered, her face twisted into pain and grief. I was frustrated and sad that she could not see me.

“Please, Dawn! I’m right here! Right in front of you! I would never leave you, not ever... you’re too precious to leave alone...” I sobbed, wrapping myself around the grieving teenager.

“I wish you would come back, Mommy...”

I stiffened in surprise, shock, guilt, and happiness all at the same time. Did she just call me her mother?

Oh god, now I know how much pain I caused her... and how much I meant to her...

“Dawn, Dawn, you’re going to be okay. I’m here. I’ll always be here for you. Promise.” And so, I sat there with Dawn, trying to communicate to her. I tried all day. But she never heard or saw me.

 

 

I’m invisible.

 

 

 

**To Be Continued...**


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy and Xander get home. Wonder what's going to happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of the original dialogue for the episode 'Villians' (s06 e20) is used. This is going to continue because this is just basically Tara's POV of season six and season seven, but with lots of twists along the way... and a special surprise at the very end of the story. :)
> 
> Someone WILL eventually see her, but it will take a while. The meadow with the stars is also going to be another important setting in addition to the settings on the show.

_I miss the times when you were here_   
_telling me to have no fear_   
_To hold my head up high and strong_   
_add happy notes to my sad song_   
  
_I miss the way you look at me_   
_As if I were too blind to see_   
_The path I'm on might hurt and scathe_   
_But all goes well if you just have faith_   
  
_I miss the sound of your sweet voice_   
_Through bitter times a saving noise_   
_That told me what was right and wrong_   
_But rang in my ears for far too long_   
  
_A caring person, you were such_   
_That helped and hurt me, oh so much_   
_You'd guide and mislead me through the day_   
_You left me lonely when I'd rather you stay_   
  
_Over things like that you had no control_   
_A rock set in motion will continue to roll_   
_No matter how hard you tug and heave_   
_You were always pushed and forced to leave_   
  
_Then one day you never returned_   
_My tears so hot they almost burned_   
_Aware now about what I lack_   
_But crying and mourning wont bring you back_   
  
_For me to let out what I need to say_   
_I can't do much more than pray_   
_No longer am I weak, my hearts quite strong_   
_From adding a happy chorus to a sad, sad song_   
  


_\-- Gone Forever, by Dane Yule_

 

 

 

It was dark when I finally heard voices in the house besides Dawn’s cries. Footsteps sounded through the hallway, and I stood up. Dawn, of course not even knowing I’m there, does not react, just buries her head in her hands even deeper.

“Up here!” I called, forgetting for a second that they probably couldn’t hear or see me, just like Dawn. I heard the voices and footsteps on the stairs.

“Dawn?” I heard Buffy’s voice ring through the hallway as footsteps came nearer to the bedroom. I stood there right outside, sighing as Buffy’s eyes went right past me.

Slowly, Buffy walked into my bedroom. I winced as I heard her gasp and watched her stiffen as she saw my body.

“Oh god...” The blond haired girl said as she walked over to Dawn.

“I... I didn’t want to leave her alone...” Dawn murmured.

“You didn’t. I didn’t either, sweetie.” I murmured in Dawn’s ear, in another attempt to make her hear me. But no one heard me. Buffy knelt beside Dawn, and embraced her, just as I had done. The only difference was that Dawn had felt it.

“Dawn. Sweetheart. Come on. Honey, we need to get out of here, okay? Dawn, sweetheart. Be strong for me, okay?” Buffy said, stroking Dawn’s hair.

 _Be strong..._ I thought, listening to Buffy’s words. I needed to be strong. For my friends. For Willow. For Dawn. For Buffy.

That meant not crying so much. I wiped my face, and put my game face on. I needed to be strong. Like an Amazon.

The sound of Xander’s reaction when he walks in is enough to lurch me out of my thoughts. To my surprise, he says nothing, just stares emptily at my body. Well, not exactly emptily, but his eyes glaze over with an emotion I couldn’t quite identify. It was like grief, but with anger. Maybe anguish? I wasn’t sure.

“Dawn, we need to go downstairs,” the blonde haired girl says, trying to help Dawn up, but the teenager refused to.

“I don’t understand!” Dawn cried, tears dripping to the ground constantly. “She didn’t have to die! She... she...”

“It’s okay, I don’t understand either.” Buffy said, burying her head into Dawns shoulder.

“She was the closest thing I had to a mother after Mom died, Buffy.” Dawn finished, getting up finally.

I could only watch and follow as the trio made their way down the stairs.

 

 

About a half hour later, two men were carrying my body in a gurney down the stairs, covered with a black sheet. I couldn't help but shed a tear when it passed me.

“Goodbye, Tara...” I murmured, though it was weird to be saying goodbye to myself.

 _Tara! Be strong. Strong like an Amazon, remember?_ I shook my head and wiped my tears away. I walked into the living room, and sat on the couch, though the cushion didn’t sag under my weight, which gave the effect that it was empty.

Buffy and Dawn also sat on the couch, Dawn sitting where I was sitting.

 _Dawn!_ I thought, and stood back up, no one even noticing.

“I wish someone would just see me or hear me. Just for a minute. Wait, I take that back, just in case vengeance demons can hear me.”

 

 

 

**To Be Continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, it kinda ended suddenly. I really wanted to upload this up! Special thanks to the two guests who gave me kudos. You people are really nice. :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buffy, Dawn, and Xander talk to each other while Tara listens and has her own thoughts on the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More dialogue from the episode 'Villains'. 
> 
> Again, I use the phrase 'Strong like an Amazon'. Sorry if it's getting repetitive. I just am addicted to the phrase and it will appear occasionally throughout the whole story.
> 
> Disclaimer: The dialogue and characters are NOT mine. They are Joss Whedon's and without his creativity none of this insanity would be possible.

_I stood there shocked_

_As if my world stopped_

_My feelings were blocked_

_My legs gave up, I dropped_

_I couldn't believe what occured_

_I thought it was all a horrendous dream_

_I knew it was true, it all just was blurred_

_As I tried to wipe that unwanted memory clean_

 

_\-- Shocked, by Brett W._

 

 

 

I sat and watched on the ground as Xander signed some paperwork, and then returned to the family room. Dawn was silently crying, tears dripping down her face and I watched as they fell onto her jeans, leaving wet spots on the fabric. Buffy held the teen against her, trying to comfort her. I sighed. Stupid guns. Stupid bullets.

Why couldn’t I have just stood somewhere else?I mean, why did I have to have my back to the window? So stupid...

I hadn’t even noticed that the three had started to talk when Buffy started explaining the situation to Dawn.

“...We need to find Willow.”

“Yeah, she’s off the wagon big time. Warren’s a dead man if Willow finds him.”

 _What? What happened to Willow?_ I thought as I intently listened. If something bad happened to Willow... I wouldn’t know what to do.

“Good.” Dawn said bitterly, her arms crossed and eyes flashing dangerously.

 _Dawn!_ I thought, my eyes widening in surprise. _He’s a human!_

“Dawn, don’t say that.” Buffy said sternly to her sister.

“Why not? I would do it myself if I could.” Dawn said darkly, and I wondered for a second whether Dawn was a demon or not. Her aura was crackling with lightning and shocks of electricity.

 _Grief can do funny things..._ I thought to myself, remembering when my mother died. I had spent all night for about a week sitting in the forest and smoking with my cousin, something I would never normally do.

I didn’t really like smoking; it just kind of made the pain go away for a while. Buffy’s voice snapped me out of my memories, and I looked back up.  

“Because you don't really feel that way.”

“Yes I do. And you should too. He killed Tara, and he nearly killed you. He needs to pay.”

_Just because he killed me doesn’t mean he deserves to die. There are plenty of big bads out there that try to kill Buffy, but they're all demons. This is very different. And how does my death shift the balance between grief and vengeance? It was an accident._

“Out of the mouths of babes.” Xander said cheekily.

“Xander.” Buffy said, flashing Xander a warning glance.

“I'm just saying he's ... he's just as bad as any vampire you've sent to dustville.” The guy says, trying to keep his cool.

_Exactly. But that doesn’t mean you have to kill him._

“Being a Slayer doesn't give me a license to kill. Warren's human.”

_That’s right. Warren’s bad, but this is no different than any serial killer that has been dealt with over the years. This is what it’s like to be victims of a murder._

“So?” Dawn scoffs, and I shake my head in disapproval, though I know they can’t see me.

“So the human world has its own rules for dealing with people like him.” Buffy said matter-of-factly.

_True. You can turn him in to the cops._

“Yeah, we all know how well those rules work.” Xander said, blowing off Buffy’s suggestion. Again, I shook my head in disapproval. I was on Buffy’s side for this one.

“Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. We can't control the universe. If we were supposed to ... then the magic wouldn't change Willow the way it does. And ... we'd be able to bring Tara back.” Buffy said quietly, her voice cracking a bit at the end of her small speech.

I shed a tear. They weren’t going to forget me too quickly. And I was never going to forget them; hell, I was never going to leave them.

“And Mom.” Dawn said in a barely audible whisper. Nodding, Buffy says,

“There are limits to what we can do. There should be. Willow doesn't want to believe that. And now she's messing with forces that want to hurt her. All of us.”

 _Wait, what? What is Willow doing? I have to stop her!_ I thought. _But maybe they would have a plan. I probably couldn’t open the door to leave anyway._

“I just ... I've had blood on my hands all day. Blood from people I love.” Xander’s eyes bore into Buffy’s as he talks.

“I...I know. And now it has to stop. Warren's going to get what he deserves. I promise. But I will not let Willow destroy herself.”

_What? Willow’s destroying herself?! I... I have to do something._

And I would. That was to be expected.

 

I was strong. Strong like an Amazon.

  
  


**To Be Continued...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tara is convinced that she should help Warren... will she succeed or fail? While she does so, she also insults him, which I think is a first for Tara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rated more of a PG - PG13 rating because of the words 'bitch' and 'damn'.

_The next year after high school, when we first met_

_We'd chant spells together, a perfect duet_

_And on my 18th birthday_

_We got a kitten_

 

_Used to grab our blankets_

_And climb to the roof_

_Talk about our future_

_Like we had a clue_

_Never planned that one day_

_I'd be leaving you  
_

_  
In another life_

_I would be your girl_

_We'd keep all our promises_

_Be us against the world_   
  
_In another life_

_I would surely stay_

_So you don't have to say_

_I was the one that slipped away_

_The one that slipped away_

 

\--  _Remixed version of some lines of The One that Got Away, by Katy Perry. Remixing done by me._

 

 

 

A couple minutes later, I followed the three out the door. Xander was heading to the Magic Shop, Buffy and Dawn were heading to Spike’s and then Buffy was going to join Xander later.

I bit my lip. I was going to go on my own. I could sense where Willow was. I hated to leave the trio, but I had to. Maybe I could talk some sense into Willow...

I started out following Xander, but we parted ways when we were only a few blocks away from the magic shop. I turned to the left, and walked a mile or so to the woods. I took my time, knowing that Willow was still far from Warren.

I was going to try to protect him. But that probably wasn’t going to work out... but I didn’t care. I was going to try.

Slowly, I reached the edge of the woods. If I was visible, I would probably look pretty out of place with my long white dress on. I also noticed there were white ribbons dancing around me.

Hopefully, my wardrobe would change. White isn’t exactly my color.

I slowly stepped into the woods, noticing the absence of the crackle of leaves.

_There’s not even the sound of footsteps! What kind of game is this?_ I thought bitterly. Warren was close. I could feel the fear in his aura.

I took in the darkness of the woods. Strangely, it looked a lot more sinister than it did when Willow and I used to take midnight strolls here. Demons didn’t really hide in the forest, so it was a safer place to walk around in at night.

“Warren?” I called, again forgetting for a second that he wouldn’t hear me.

“Who’s that?” Warren asked, as if replying to my call. I almost fainted in shock. He could hear me? Maybe he heard someone else. Still, you never know.

Before I could say anything, he suddenly emerged from the bushes, and widened his eyes at the sight of me.

“W-warren.” I said, my eyes wide with shock. He looked like he had seen a ghost! Well, he has...

“Who are you?” he asked, noticing my white aura, (Which I really hope will change color) which would only be visible if I was dead.

“You... you can see me?” I asked, my breath caught in my throat.

“Well, yeah.” Warren said, glancing behind him for a second. “Hey, listen. I have an uber powerful Wiccan after me, and I need some help. Do you have some super power that will bring her down?” I shook my head. Warren was planning to kill her!

“Warren, I never would. Listen... I’m Tara. Willow’s girlfriend.” I said quietly, and watched Warren’s face twist into horror when I said so.

“Oh my god! So it _was_ true! I’m so sorry.” Warren said, but didn’t really sound sorry. He probably was mostly scared for himself, and didn’t really care about Willow’s grief and fury. I didn’t like Warren so far, but I had to try to save him.

“Warren, listen to me. Willow’s gone bonkers so there’s nothing I can do but save you. If she kills you, she’ll live forever with the knowledge that you’re dead. That’s the only reason I’m helping you besides the fact that you’re a human, and it doesn’t work that way. No one, not even the Slayer, should have license to kill a human for no reason unless it’s a really good reason.” I said, afraid that my voice would shake, but it didn’t, to my surprise.

“Fine. So what’s your grand idea, Tinkerbell?” Warren said, staring at my white and glowing outfit. He then glanced nervously behind him. “She could blow me up at any minute.”

I shook my head as I motioned for him to follow me.

“I have to get you out of this forest. Then maybe I can teleport you somewhere.” I said, staring into the dark pools of Warren’s eyes as I practically glided across the ground, leaving no evidence that I ever walked through the forest.

“Are you sure it’s gonna work? Because witch bitch is gonna find me at some point.”

“ _Don’t_ call Willow a bitch. She’s not. If anything, you are.” I muttered to Warren. It was time for me to come up with some witty comebacks. Well, hopefully. If not, I can continue to happily insult Warren without worry of being hurt.

“Okay. Sure. I am. Which also makes you a bitch for calling me a bitch.”

“Dammit Warren! I am sure as hell _not!_ Do you want me to help you or not?” I asked Warren with a dangerous glare as I stopped in my tracks, the end of the woods near.

“Sorry.” Warren muttered, though I could tell that he wasn’t. I rolled my eyes.

“We’re almost there. I think I can teleport you, but you never know. Maybe I’ll just leave you to die.” I muttered. But I really wouldn’t leave him to die. I wouldn’t do that to Willow.

 

But what if my power doesn’t work in spirit form?

 

 

 

 

**To Be Continued...**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tara seems a little witty and mean in this chapter... she's going through a change. You never really see her interact with the big bad of the season really, do you? Well... now she is. And since she knows she's totally safe, what's stopping her? 
> 
> Okay, okay, so maybe she wasn't like this when Glory tortured her, but still... she was being harmed by Glory. Warren is a little more regular and less hell-god-y, so Tara's reaction would be a bit different.
> 
> Plus, she's still pissed off with the whole invisible spirit thing. Hehehe.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now we get to see whether Tara will manage to save Warren or not! And then, for the first time, Tara will see Dark Willow.
> 
> Dis is gonna be interesting...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if the scenes change a little bit fast; I'm not good at writing running through Sunnydale (Partly because I don't really know how it's laid out; I know there is a cemetery, a neighborhood, downtown, shops, a forest, a high school, a middle school and a college.)
> 
> We also learn that Tara is capable of doing at least some simple spells while she's a spirit. Not sure how she'll be able to do the potion-required ones, since she can't touch anything without being all see-through-y. \
> 
> Just so you know, 'relinquit' means 'leaves'. 
> 
> Cars can also pass through Tara. Is that cool, or what? :)
> 
> And her thoughts jump around. I am now doing that on purpose. XD

_How do I mend a broken heart?_

_My entire world has fallen apart._

_How do I find hope in a brand new day,_

_when the one I love has gone away?_

_My mind overflows with memories of you,_

_of all that we've shared, all that we knew._

_I long for your touch and your warm embrace,_

_the look in your eyes, the smile on your face._

_My dreams are filled with your soft gentle kiss,_

_I wake and cry for all that I miss._

_How do I mend a broken heart,_

_when my one true love and I are apart?_

_My heart knows to love only you, it won't let go, what do I do?_

_Our moments together were precious and few,_

_but I cherished them all more than you knew._

_I love you my angel and always will,_

_I loved you then and I love you still._  
  


_\-- A Broken Heart, by Jenna_

 

 

 

I stepped out onto the sidewalk just out of the forest, and turned to Warren.

“This may or may not work, just be wary of that. You might open your eyes and find yourself in a hell dimension.” I smiled wickedly, trying to get him even more on his nerves.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know all that! Just get me out of here, away from wacko witch!”

I raised an eyebrow.

“And you’re sure that you won’t attempt to murder anyone else for as long as you live?”

“Yes! I do!” Warren cried out, his eyes wide with fear. “Please! I just need to get away!”

“Fine. _Relinquit._ ” I said, and held my breath. The white ribbons started to wrap around Warren, and I barely noticed the happy glow in his eyes. In seconds, Warren disappeared. I just hoped it worked, and he was far away from here now.

I turned away to leave, when I heard a scream from the forest. I stiffened as I realized who was probably screaming.

 _I teleported Warren back into the forest..._ I thought. Now he was a dead man. There was nothing I could do for him as I listened to him scream for help.

When the screaming stopped... that’s when I turned away, feeling moisture dribble down my cheeks. Again.

(I mean, really, why must I cry so much? This is like the fifth time today! Insane!)

“I failed...” I murmured. “I tried to help and I failed. I’m truly invisible.” I said to myself as I walked away.

 

A minute later, I shivered as a car went right through me as I crossed the road.

 _I don’t think I’ll ever get used to this._ I thought to myself. Suddenly, as I made my way to the other side of the road to go back to the Magic Box, a figure rushed past me. I recognized the figure as Buffy, who was obviously in a huge hurry.

I followed her as fast as I could, my speed doubling because there was no way I could trip and I had virtually no weight. I eventually caught up to Buffy, and I gasped as I realized where we were going: to the police station.

 _What the hell is happening?_ I thought. Things were messed up, that’s for sure. Slowly but surely, Buffy eventually came to a stop. I gasped. Willow was standing in the parking lot, staring at the top of the police station.

I could barely recognize it was Willow pulling off the cinder blocks with her magicks. Her raven hair and jet black eyes made her look like some sort of freak.

This was the monster that haunted my nightmares. I shivered as I remembered dreaming of Willow looking like this. I never thought it would come true.

“Great, now uber-witch is on the scene.” Buffy muttered irritably.

“Willow!” I screamed, ignoring Buffy’s comment, and ran for my love. As soon as I got within eight feet of her, an electric shock ran up my transparent body.

 _So that barrier trick still works, even though I’m a spirit._ I thought, even though I didn’t collapse onto the ground like the policemen did.

I turned back to Buffy, and noticed that she was gone. Well, what did I expect? She wouldn’t have just stood still for that long.

“Willow!” I called again to the black haired girl, backing away a few steps as to not get shocked again. Willow paid no attention to me, as I would expect.

 _Wait, then... how did Warren see me?_ The thought crossed my mind lightly, and I didn’t really think about it, the majority of my brain focused on Willow.

I wanted nothing more than to walk up to Willow and kiss her. That would fix everything. I had a feeling that this all happened because of grief and anger.

Maybe this was why I was sent back to Earth. To be condemned. Maybe I went to one of those disguised hell dimensions! Maybe my mother was just a demon...

No. I couldn’t think of that now. Willow needed to be stopped. And if I had to go all the way to the darkest dimension of hell to do it, I would. If I had to stop her with my own heart and soul, I would do it.

Well, I kind of lost the heart part, but if I had to give her my soul, my _existence_ , to save her, I would.

 

I wouldn’t hesitate.

 

 

 

 

**To Be Continued...**


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tara now gets to hear Willow scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, fast-paced like all my other chapters. I'm trying to work on that. *facepalms* 
> 
> I will be going on a two-week vacation this Thursday, so I probably won't be able to write until I get back. 
> 
> The word 'bitchy' is used once in this chapter, but I don't think that affects the rating... does it?
> 
> Also, I watched the episode 'Touched' from season 7 today... I don't like Kennedy. :P

In the midst of my thoughts, I barely noticed when Buffy, Jonathan, and Andrew ran out of the police station. At least they would be safe from the monster of a witch that was about ten feet away from me. There was nothing I could do to help them or Willow.  

I guessed I could try magicks, but that requires a lot of energy and to battle magicks like the ones that were possessing Willow... it would be suicide! Well, I guessed I was already dead, but wouldn’t it be breaking the laws of nature to tamper with what was to happen? I learned my lesson with Warren. Maybe it was purposely done by the Powers That Be that I teleported him into Willow’s grasp, I mean, it was gonna happen anyway at some point, even without my intervening of the situation.

What if I tried magicks and it backfired on someone else? I couldn’t let that happen. So I just sat still, and watched Willow tear the cinder blocks out of the building, her eyes dark and black, no color at all in them.

It was when I thought that her mission was to tear the building down when Willow suddenly stopped. I stared in shock at her, wondering what she would do next. You never know what a witch high on magicks is going to do.

“Gotta fly.” Willow said to the policemen staring at her with gaping mouths. Well, it wasn’t the policemen I was thinking about then. It was Willow’s voice.

It was so… unnatural. I mean, it was Willow, but the tone… Willow never talks like that. She sounded like she was about to kill someone, which I guessed was true.

Willow levitated into the air, floating steadily towards the hole in the building in a quick and swift motion. I gritted my teeth, knowing what I had to do. I had to follow Willow.

“ _Alae._ ” I said, and, within seconds, a pair of white, feathery wings had replaced my arms. This was a trademark spell of mine that I had created long ago, because I was tired of levitating. I had wanted wings.

I spread out my arms(wings) and started to flap, picking up speed and starting to lift. Soon, I was gliding swiftly up to the hole, and watching as Willow staring at the jail cell around us. My wings slowly turned into arms again as I landed, and started walking(Well, sort of gliding) on the tile floor of the jail.

Willow was staring, dumbfounded, at the hole in the bars of the jail cell that we were standing in. I rolled my eyes. Was it surprising the Buffy saved the day again? I think not.

I was staring quizzically at Dark Willow, when she let out a bloodcurdling, ear-exploding scream. My eyes widened with the sudden shock, and I felt faint. If I had a heart in spirit form, I think it would have stopped.

“Dear god!” I shouted, and collapsed to the ground, my ears ringing as Willow continued screaming. I curled myself into a ball, unable to move as the terrible sound penetrated the air all around me.

This goes on for what seems like an eternity, which was actually only a few seconds, Willow screaming inhumanely, and I would also scream in pain from time to time. Guess the nerves in my ears still work even though I’m dead. Maybe I could become one of those Gentlemen guys after this. I wouldn’t have to hear anything. But then again, my head would explode after hearing the smallest of sounds, which kinda sucks if you think about it, no matter how scary those guys are. (Like really, what’s with the metal teeth?)

My eyes venture over to Anya, as I thought about the Gentlemen, who was unconscious. I widened my eyes in horror, forgetting the Gentlemen, but I couldn’t help but think,

_Lucky. She gets to lay unconscious while I have to sit here and listen to Willow._

I almost slapped myself because of how bitchy that thought was, but I knew my eardrums would burst if I moved a muscle.

But that didn’t keep me from trying. I slid across the floor, ears plugged, past Willow. I made my way to the hole, and jumped off, my eyes stretched wide with the thought of the ground beneath me.

Strangely, though, there was no impact. I landed lightly on the parking lot beneath me, and I made my way over to where Buffy, Jonathan, and Andrew were.

I caught my breath as I stopped where they were, not really listening to what they were saying.

I couldn’t believe that Willow was… evil. It still sent shivers down my spine to think that the insane, magick-possessed, woman that I saw was actually my Willowtree. It tore my heart in two to think about it. I sighed sadly.

A sudden screeching of a wheel lurched me out of my thoughts. (It was actually the three people moving over to Xander in a police car, I couldn’t hear the car.)

 _I might as well just go with them,_ I thought to myself, and sat on the top of the car. _I always wanted to sit on top of the car! Now I have no reason to feel worried about my safety._ I thought and smiled, but things still bit at me.

 

Things were very weird. Really weird. But then again, what isn’t weird on the Hellmouth?

 

 

 

**To Be Continued...**


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tara finds herself in the meadow again, at first she is confused. But then she meets up with someone again. 
> 
> Her dead boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay. So I made Tara have a boyfriend. (Dead, may I remind you) But it's not like she loves him or anything. That would, like, kill Tara's character. Completely. Blammo. Caput. POOF!
> 
> The chapters are getting gradually longer. Yay! Also, I got two more kudos from guests. AMAZING!!!!! 
> 
> Meh vacation is tomorrow, so you might not see another chapter posted for a while...
> 
> Also, this chapter is rated PG-13 for talking about sex for like a few lines (Not detailed), and a few curse words.

_His encounter with life so brief_

_As the sun warmed the waters he was gone_

 

_A mist evaporating into the air_

_As if a leaf caught in the wind carried him away_

 

_Before my eyes he vanished_

_Suddenly a memory of yesterday._

 

_\-- Suddenly a Memory, by Heather Burns_

 

 

 

I sat on top of the car, watching all the other people go by in their own automobiles, (Sorry, I have been listening to Giles for too long) all the craziness of Willow unnoticed. I sighed,leaning down and burying my head into my hands, my elbows sitting on my legs. I looked down at myself, and noticed my wardrobe had changed. (Finally)

I was wearing what I had worn the day I died, when we went downstairs to see Buffy and Dawn. I smiled. The light, foresty green color and the style of the shirt that reminded me of a kimono had always made me feel happy, even in the darkest of times. It felt appropriate to wear this shirt that day. But it wasn't. Not on the day that I died. So now the outfit made me sad. Oh great. Yay on me. 

I was staring into empty space on top of the car when suddenly another trail of light started heading towards me. 

 _Oh, great. What is it now?_ I thought irritably. All this heartbreak and drama was making me bitchy. The light streamed towards me when it suddenly stopped in front of me, voices whispering from seemingly nowhere. I strained to hear the voices, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. But somehow, as if I understood their way too quiet language, I could. 

My arm reached out, not out of my own will, mind you, and touched the sphere of white light. My eyes widened as it streamed out more and more rays and became brighter and brighter until the world was just enveloped in light. I couldn't feel my legs anymore, I didn't even know if I  _had_ legs at this point, I couldn't see anything beyond the blinding white light.

 _Can anyone else see it?_ I thought to myself. Just then, darkness started to creep along my vision. It moved at a rapid pace, and drowned out the white light. My eyes widened with shock as slowly the world went black, and I slowly lost consciousness of where I was.

Maybe my soul was slipping away into empty darkness?

 

***

 

My eyes flutter open, and I find myself laying in dark green grass, my arms and legs spread wide. I slowly bring myself up, and turn around. I was in the meadow again. Yay. I also noticed something else. Someone was there, but I couldn't identify who it was. They were too far away. 

I started towards the person, but they already had it covered. Within seconds, they were right in front of me. 

"So, I see you got your spirit on, Tare." 

The voice was all too familiar. The eyes. The face. It could only be one person. At first I didn't believe it... but it couldn't have been anyone else. There was no one else like him. My eyes widened, and I gasped.

"F...F...Felix?" I whispered, my blue eyes meeting his brown ones. His pale hand reached out to touch my hair. I couldn't even feel, though. I was too focused on him. I analyzed his face. Nothing had changed. His eyes were still warm, his hair was still as black as the sky behind him, and he still was smiling. 

"What's the matter, Tara? Cat got your tongue?" he said, smiling still. I tried to speak, but I couldn't. My mouth wouldn't let me. "You know, you used to chat a lot more."

"I... I... I..." I said, my voice crapping out on me. My heart seemed to tear in two. Tears came to my eyes. (Could this day get any worse?)

"You don't look very happy to see me." Felix said, his dark brown eyes just flaring into mine. I could feel his hand trying to grasp mine, but I pulled it back. "Don't you still love me?" Felix asked me.

"Felix, I..." I trailed off, my fingers fiddling around with my shirt. Suddenly, as I was taking a deep breath of the night air, a familiar scent came to me. Even in spirit form, my shirt smelled like... like... Willow.

 _Willow. Remember her, Tara? You love her, you don't love Felix. Be honest. After all, you should have told him when you were both alive._ A voice seemed to speak inside me, and I found new confidence. 

"What is it, Tare? Surely, you must have missed me." Felix kept his cool, even though I couldn't imagine the dread that he must be feeling. I backed up a step. 

"Felix, I never really was into you. I-"

 _"What?"_ Felix said, staring at me with astonished eyes. "I died... and you say you don't love me... I have been waiting for this moment for  _years,_ Tara! And you just push me away..."

"I-I'm sorry. I just don't-"

"You think that I will just let you walk away from all this? Everything we had?"

 _Okay, that's it!_ I thought to myself.  _I am not going to let him guilt me into kissing him. No way. Not ever._

"Honestly, Felix? Did you think that, after being with Willow all that time, I was going to run up and kiss you like no time has passed? No! It doesn't work that way!" I said, gritting my teeth as I said so. 

"But Tara... after all we've been through?" 

"You  _don't_ know the half of it!" I snapped, but then I started to compose myself while I continued to rant. "Felix, you have no idea what kind of pain I have been through. My sister has died, you have died, my mother has died, my lover was a magic addict and I had to leave her, first day we make up and _I_ die! _Then_ I have to watch the closest thing to my daughter cry over my _body!_ And I have to watch my lover get possessed by magicks, and who in the hell knows what else I will have to go through! You selfish jerk! I have lost ten times more than you have!" My voice gradually got louder and more forceful as I continued. _  
_

"Wait. I thought that Willow girl was just a phase. You're not really a lesbian, are you?" I wanted to slap his face as I saw the _genuine_ confusion on his face. 

"I have been with Willow for years. I have given her everything. My love, my heart, my soul, my purity, and my innocence! And you think that was just a  _phase?_ Who do you think you are?" I clench my teeth harder, my blue eyes flashing dangerously at Felix. 

"Those are all metaphorical terms, Tara! Do you think I'm going to buy that?" My cheeks flushed a little as he said that. 

"N-no, not all of them. Love is not metaphorical, the next two are, the last two...uh..." Felix flushed a little too as I stammered.

"Wait, so you're saying..."

"Yeah." I muttered, shuffling my feet anxiously. 

"How?!" Felix said, his eyes wide with curiosity, anger, and frustration mixed together. 

"Uhhhh... I'll, uh, tell you later." My cheeks flushed crimson as the awkward conversation continued. Nothing like arguing with your ex-boyfriend about being a lesbian, and then you accidentally metaphorically talk about having sex for the first time with someone (Who happens to be a girl) that isn't your ex. Whoops. 

"...Okay." Felix says, and we stand in silence for a moment. I felt like my cheeks were going to burn off, even though the night air was chilling down to the bone. 

"...Yeah." I muttered, and I turned away from Felix. "So, I gotta go. My girlfriend's gone all witchy and I need to find a way to stop her."

"Alright, bye." Felix said nonchalantly, and disappeared from sight. I watched him disappear, my eyes narrowed with suspicion about my long-lost ex-boyfriend. I was mystified. 

 _I was expecting more of a fight from him..._ I thought, and bit my lip. _...Well, I guess it's just all for the better that I got off easy. This time._ I turned my attention back to getting out of here. 

"I guess I snap my fingers three times?" I muttered to myself, and, remembering my mother's words the last time I was here, snapped my fingers. Once. Twice. Three times. 

 

Everything went black again.

 

 

**To Be Continued...**


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tara is now somewhere else... and she meets an old ally of Angel's...
> 
> Yay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Major stuff happens in this chapter with a HUGE cliffhanger. :) 
> 
> So yeah... sorry it took me this long to get another chapter out, but I had a busy week. I had to help a bunch of little kids dance to music for a week. It was AWFUL. 
> 
> But I got a hundred dollars out of it. 
> 
> Yay on me! :D

_How can you see into my eyes like **open doors?**_   
_Leading you down into my core where I've become so **numb**_   
_Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere **cold**_   
_Until you find it there and lead it **back home**_

_**Frozen**  inside without your touch_   
_Without your love, darling_   
_Only you are the life among the **dead**_

_All this time I can't believe I couldn't **see**_   
_Kept in the **dark**  but you were  **there**  in front of  **me**_   
_I've been sleeping a **thousand**  years it seems_   
_Got to open my eyes to **everything**_   
_Without a **thought** , without a  **voice** , without a  **soul**_   
_Don't let me die here_   
_There must be something **more**_   
**_Bring me to life_  **   
  
_(Wake me up)_   
_Wake me up **inside**_   
_(I can't wake up)_   
_Wake me up **inside**_   
_(Save me)_   
_Call my **name**  and save me from the  **dark**_   
_(Wake me up)_   
_Bid my blood to **run**_   
_(I can't wake up)_   
_Before I come **undone**_   
_(Save me)_   
_Save me from the **nothing**  I've become_

_\-- Part of Bring me to Life, song by Evanescence _

 

Bright lights seemed to flicker across my vision, hurting my eyes. I squinted. I felt myself traveling, and I knew I was somewhere between the real world and the heavenly world. 

I blinked, closing my eyes for only a fraction of a second. Though it felt like an eternity. 

When my eyes open again, light bores into my gaze, and I squeeze them shut again. However, this light was different. It wasn't white or bright, it was more naturally colored, it was more colored.

Slowly, I let myself open my eyelids once more, and found myself lying on the floor of a room, my blonde hair splayed out on the floor.

My gaze darted around the room, and I slowly identified where I was. I was in a hospital waiting room. 

 _Well, this is a pretty familiar place for me._ I thought to myself, and sat up. There was one other person in the room, reading a newspaper. I got up and walked over to the figure, and took a seat from across from it. 

"'Suppose ye want something." The figure let out a sigh as he let the newspaper down to take a look at me. His face was surprisingly kind, compared to his gruff remark that reminded me distantly of Spike, but I figured that this person was different. The accent certainly was. 

"I... don't think so. Do you know where we are?" I asked, staring into the guy's blue eyes. In his dark amber aura, I could read pain; it was coming off in waves, which was throwing her thoughts off. The guy took a swig of his liquor, which also reminded me of Spike. 

But this was different. He didn't look too punk-y. 

The man had curly brown hair, and pretty bushy eyebrows. He was wearing a long, brown leather coat with a green shirt underneath.

"We're where ever yer most pensive. Interesting that you chose a hospital waiting room. 'Most choose a place in nature or somethin' like that." the guy said, flashing a shy smile at me. I smiled back. 

"But why are you here? Who are you?" I asked, my smile fading. The man took a look around the waiting room again. 

"I'm here because you wanted something from me. 'Doesn't matter whether you know me or not. I'm Doyle," he said, extending a grimy hand. I hesitated, but shook it anyway. 

"I'm Tara," I said to Doyle. "Somehow... I feel like we should know each other. Do you feel it?" I said distantly, staring around the room again. 

"Yes. 'Suppose I do," Doyle muttered quietly, staring at me, his eyes boring into mine, as if he was reading me. I stared back defiantly, acting as if I was reading him, though his aura was almost illegible. For some weird reason, more than half of it was written in some demonic language. Maybe the whole ghost thing was messing up my aura reading. This guy couldn't be a demon, which is the only reason why his aura would have a different language in it. 

"Maybe that's why I'm here. Because we're supposed to meet somehow." I said, trying to piece everything that had happened today together.

"Maybe." Doyle said nonchalantly, his blue eyes flashing in the light. 

"If that's why, then you must have something to tell me," I pressed. Doyle looked up solemnly. 

"Well, I guess I do have a piece of advice for ye," He said quietly. My eyes widened curiously, and I listened intently. Doyle took a pause and closed his eyes for a few seconds. "Ye think ye know what yer life was. Ye think that ye fulfilled yer destiny. Well, yer wrong. From what I can tell, yer one of those special people who get to complete their destiny  _after_ their death. Ye haven't conquered yer Evil, ye haven't even amassed yer army yet! 'Keep yer eyes open for opportunity. Don't let anything make ye lose yer faith in what ye believe in." Doyle said quietly to me. I nodded, taking his information in. 

"But I don't know what to do. How do I fulfill my destiny if no one knows that I exist?"

"Eh, ye'll figure it out," Doyle said obscurely. "But for now ye need to get back to yer dimension." I stood up, and walked a few feet around the room, noticing that the dawn's first light was appearing through the window. At home, it was still the middle of the night. 

"How do I get back?" I asked quietly, turning back toward Doyle. The ghost of a smile played on his grimy face.

"Ye'll leave when yer ready." He answered simply, but anxiously glanced at the window. "'Though ye should get back before dawn comes." I just nodded.

"I guess I'll see you later?" I asked Doyle. He simply smiled shyly. But then he seemed to remember something.

"Oh, and one more thing, beware of yer doppelganger!" he said with urgency. My face twisted in confusion.

"Doppelganger? That sounds German."

"'Can't tell ye an'thing else. 'Gotta figure et out yerself."

"Okay... thanks?" I said, and felt myself start to melt away from the room, Doyle's sad smile forever burning itself into my memory. 

 

And then everything enveloped in black. _Again..._

 

***

 

I woke to the feeling of cold cement on my skin. Slowly, I took in my surroundings as my eyes fluttered open. I had not been here before.

The room I was in was dirty and possibly moldy, though I could smell and feel unimaginable power radiating around the room. I noted a dead body of a man on the other side of the room, but didn't really care much about it. I had seen so many that there was no grief inside of me anymore when I saw one. 

But the thing that shook me inside was the person on the south side of the room. At first I again didn't recognize her, but it was the face that gave her away. Even though it didn't even look like her.

Willow was here. 

_Damn!_

I shot up, scared that something might happen to me, when I realized she couldn't see me. I let out a sigh of relief, and sat back down again, warily eyeing the dead man's body. 

Willow probably killed him. 

Well, not Willow. The demonic magic that possessed Willow. Why must everything be so freaking confusing?

I crossed over to Willow's side of the room, walking lightly over the rubble scattered around, though I guess I could have just walked through it if I wanted to. It seems like there had been fight upon fight in this room, but it also smelled like sweat and magic. 

And there was blood on the ground. 

Willow was pacing around the south side of the room, her back to me. 

She sorta looked like a demon. 

"Oh, Willow... what have you done? Is this what you wanted?" I murmured, taking a post behind Willow. Immediately, the demon-witch-possessed-magick-girl-person whipped around and seemed to look me in the eye, her own black irises seeming to read into my own, like they were open doors. 

But they couldn't be.

I was invisible.

 

"Well, well, if it isn't little miss Tara Maclay?"

 

 

**To Be Continued...**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, there is MAJOR foreshadowing in this chapter. :) See if ya'll can figure it out.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tara talks to Dark Willow...
> 
> What the hell is this world coming to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Finally got another chapter out... whew. I just was at a 2 week writing "camp" (more like summer school... sort of. But no homework. :D I'm a little too old for camp, though I'm like 14 at heart.) 
> 
> Also, I have not read the comics or watched all of Angel, so I may be a little wrong with some of the chapter. Tell me if I'm wrong, but for now I'm assuming Willow is "possesed/evilized" by magicks that dated before evil...
> 
> DISCLAIMER (Spoof):
> 
> Me: No matter how much I want them to be, most of these characters are not mine, they were created by the FREAKIN GENIUS Joss Whedon.
> 
> Miss Kitty Fantastico: Wait, what? I... I was created by a HUMAN? 
> 
> Tara: When did Miss Kitty start talking?
> 
> Me: I made her-
> 
> Willow: I put a spell on her! :)
> 
> Tara: What?
> 
> Me: No, I came up with talking Miss Kitty and-
> 
> Willow: It was harmless and she'll be fine.
> 
> Miss Kitty: 0.o WTH?
> 
> Tara: Watch your language, Missy.
> 
> Miss Kitty: Aw, come on! I'm basically a teenager when it comes to cat development!
> 
> Me: GUYS! I created this whole scene and making you say all this stuff!
> 
> Willow: Huh?
> 
> Tara: I'M NOT A PIECE IN YOUR GAMES!
> 
> Me: You're starting to sound like Peeta...
> 
> Miss Kitty: *stares at Tara, who is hyperventilating* This is taking a weird turn. 
> 
> Me: ANYWAY, most of these characters do NOT belong to me, and therefore I am not selling any of this stuff due to copyright issues. Plus, who would pay money for this crap? I'm not that great of a writer.
> 
> Miss Kitty: Wait, you were gonna sell all of us? 
> 
> Willow: WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS? I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THE SPELL TO GENERATE THIS... WEIRDO WHO'S TYPING ON A LAPTOP!
> 
> Tara(stops hyperventilating): *crickets*
> 
> Me: Yeah! Now go back into the story. Tara, you're invisible. Willow, you're evil. Miss Kitty... you're nonexistent. For now.

_MORE NOTES: (It's not a spoof, I promise) I have decided on the Easter Egg/challenge for this fanfic! Starting on the the chapter AFTER this one, I will be inserting little phrases that have been used in episodes of Buffy. (Like, say, Willow says for no reason: 'Scuse me, comin' through, pardon me, 'scuse me, whoa! 'Scuse me, no sure how to stop! Please move, whoa, 'scuse me...'_ _This line is from the Buffy episode 'Welcome to the Hellmouth'. Then, after a few scenes in the fanfiction, Tara says (I'm not sure why she would say this): 'He's a good one! His blood is pure!' Which is a line from 'The Harvest' and so on.) I will be using lines from ALL 144 episodes of Buffy, IN ORDER. Oh yes. Confused? Good. I am happy you're confused. Well, maybe not really. Whatever. NOW READ!_

 

"Wha-huh?" I said, my jaw dropping. Willow did not turn around, it was as if she was talking to herself... but, then again, why would this dark Willow talk about her in the middle of a room with a dead guy? Well, it is the hellmouth...

Willow spun around in an instant. 

"Well, well, it seems that little miss Maclay has made her way back." the raven haired girl creeped forward slowly, wearing a malicious smile. Unnaturally black eyes bore into my blue ones. Every fiber of my dead being wanted to run away, but I seemed to be glued to the spot.

"Uh... I... uh... um..." I wanted to say so many things, but my voice wouldn't work. Sadly, this invited Willow to talk more.

"I wonder why you decided to come back, you were never needed here." Willow stalked around me, as if she was a cat stalking a mouse. If you haven't noticed already, she's the cat. And not little nice Miss Kitty, she was a panther that wanted dinner. "You only made things worse; I mean look at last year, you were brainwashed by Glory! You were useless to everyone. You always have been. Even when you were the only person in the household who was willing to do magic, did you save anyone? No!"

"It wasn't my fault that I was brainsucked!" I gritted my teeth as I blurted out at Willow. 

"But you know that you just dragged us down, it was your fault that Dawn was put in danger." Willow grinned malevolently, still circling around me.

"I had no control! I was trapped! Do you know what  _hell_ is? No! Buffy and I are the only ones who  _know_ what it's like to be in hell! You never will understand." I felt tears coming to my eyes for the millionth time that day. I never wanted to speak to Willow like this, even if it's Dark Willow Version 1.0 I'm talking to. She still looks and smells like her, even if the magicks affected her so drastically.

"Really? But I am older than hell, Tara. I'm as old as the First, maybe even older. I am part of the essence that makes up everything." Willow hissed into my ear. Okay, I gotta say, I was more annoyed rather than scared at this point.

"Er, you do realize you're talking about yourself?" 

"I do know that. I'm not a fool! I am a part of Willow now, part of her knows what it is to be so old and powerful. I am the Essence of all that is dark. I created the First. Granted, I may not be as powerful as the First, but I am the one who created evil."

Things started to piece together. Long ago, when I was just a child, my mother told me of the five Essences that dated before time was even thought of. They were the first magicks. There was Earth, Sky, Fire, Spirit, and Dark. 

Fire was one of the mightier elements, representing all that was good, but in a more violent way. The best of the best heroes always had good relations to this Essence. I guess you could say that Buffy would relate best to Fire. 

Sky would be an Essence that would be for a gentler soul. If you were a witch and had strong ties to Sky, you would be most powerful at night, for Sky controls the magicks that run during the night and day. Sky always had a preference for the night.

Spirit would be for the fortunetellers of the world. I myself have a little bit of Spirit within myself, but my fortune telling isn't always spot on, sadly, because my bond isn't strong enough with Spirit. 

Earth is what makes about 90% of my magicks. Earth is the gentlest of the Essences, and many witches with healing powers are tied strongly to Earth, like me. Witches with Earth's power can read auras (A skill, mind you, Willow does not have) and are very unlikely to go to the level of magick that Willow has dared to have an encounter with.

The last Essence is Dark. The Essences are like the twelve good fairies, and the one bad fairy from _Sleeping Beauty_. Dark is the bad fairy. Dark is the one who created the First, who doomed this realm to demons and destruction. Thank you so much, Dark. 

And so, apparently, Dark (The bad fairy) was taking over Willow. 

"Did Willow really have so much of you in her?" I asked tentatively, my fingers playing around with the ends of my green shirt.

"Well, she really didn't. Maybe about half of her was Fire, some was Sky, and some was me. But there was a rift in the air... a rift in everything. Something has happened, and all the demons are free. That's how I'm here."

Dark must have seen my face, so Willow sighed. "Something has recently shifted... I don't know why I'm telling you this, I should be torturing you, but my sister's yelling at me."

"Wha-huh?" I said, my face even more puzzled. Dark's sisters were Earth, Spirit, and Sky. This was getting really super weird.

"You can't see her, but her spirit's inside of you."

"The only reason an Essence's spirit besides yours would be inside of me is because... because... oh my god." I started breathing hard. There was one reason and one reason only.

"I should've known the first time I saw you!" Willow practically snarled at me, shrinking back towards the wall, emotions playing on her face. The main emotion that I saw was disgust.

"I... I..."

"You're a..."

"Divine Being." I whispered so softly, only Willow/Dark could hear me. So much for the painful torture that I thought would happen. Now it's turned into a study session about myself.

I wasn't sure if being a Divine One was bad or good, but I didn't really have time to think about it.

The door suddenly opened loudly. 

"Willow?" A small voice came from the opening. My head shot around to see who it was.

My heart almost stopped. Well, I didn't have a heart, but it would've if I did. 

 

The voice came from Dawn.

 

 

 

**To Be Continued...**

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that probably wasn't as great a chapter as you all thought it would be, but there was a lot of material I wanted to cover in that and it was really hard to cover all that but still write the chapter. Maybe the next one will be better...


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tara is visited by two spirits and a winged horse... what is gonna come for her next?
> 
> Plus there are some strange names involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF CRAZY NAMES!
> 
> Sorry. I had to write that cuz I like putting crazy names in stories. You will see what I mean later on. :)

I spun around to see Dawn in the doorway.

"No..." I murmured, turning to see Willow's face go malicious again. But what could I do? Nothing. Absolutely freaking nothing.

Which was why I turned away, ran through the wall, and took off into the night. I would rather run than helplessly watch the event that was unfolding.

That was either the stupidest decision I had ever made, or the smartest decision. I couldn't tell which, especially after the events that happen next. 

"I'm so sorry, Dawnie..." I said as I drifted into the night, my heart shattered many times over. This day couldn't get worse. Unless, of course, it starts raining or something. But I wouldn't get wet, so...

Argh, never mind. 

 

I sat against the wall of a building, facing the road. Many cars zoomed past in the night, and it amazed me how most of Sunnydale had no idea what was unfolding just a little bit away.  

Now that I was alone, I could actually think about what just happened, and ask myself a question that I should have asked myself when Willow first saw me. 

How exactly did she see me?

Then again, it might just be Dark and his strong abilities, but there must have been something else thrown in there, considering that neither Dark nor Willow saw me before, at the police station, which was only about a half hour ago. 

Maybe the Powers went all wonky for a second or something. 

I had barely any time to come to that conclusion when two figures appeared before me. I didn't even look at them before groaning. 

"Ugh, why is everything trying to bug me today? It's as if _dying_ isn't the worst thing that could happen today, it's not as if watching my _love_ turn _evil_ is enough either. What the hell do you people want?" A soft hand patted my shoulder gently. 

"Whatever happens, you should remember that there are always many that have it worse." I looked up and took note of the the two figures for the first time.

They were both women, well, around as old as me. But there was something inevitably mystical about them, for they could touch me.

One of them was wearing a purple tank top with a more casual suit top covering most of it. She was also wearing long, dark pants, and atop her head was a sort of top hat with a veil that covered half her face. What struck me the most about her was the fact that her eyes were glowing _violet_. Her hair was long and blonde, with a purple streak.

The other was wearing a green corset top with straps, and a black mini skirt. Her eyes were glowing green, the light illuminating her dark hair. There were illegible demonic marks covering her left arm and shoulder, which I guessed, must mean something. But I couldn't figure out what. 

Now I had three reasons why these two would be representing the Powers That Be or something. 

"Great, more Powers That Be crap. Can you just leave me  _alone_ _?_ I'm tired of all of it!" I turned away, hoping that the two adolescents would go away. But they stood their ground, much to my annoyance. Usually, I wouldn't feel like this. Usually, I don't express annoyance. But a girl has her exceptions, right? 

The purple-eyed girl almost smiled. She whispered something in her companion's ear and they both giggled. 

What the hell?

"Hm, well it's not as if I've seen anyone like this before," purple-girl said sarcastically, flipping her hair. "But if you want us to go away, you have the right."

"However," the other girl cut in, her lips curled in a knowing smile. "If you want to learn what's going on, you might want to listen."

Is there away to get rid of the strange encounters with the Other Side? I wish there was a manual of 'How to be Dead', like there's a manual of 'How to be a Slayer'. Buffy is so damn lucky...

"Nope. I don't want to listen. Now go away. I'd like to grieve alone, thank you very much!" I said, my tone becoming more serious. I was tired of being pushed around in these dimensions.

"Well, you're certainly a font of nothing." Green-girl muttered.

"Shut up, Outcast!" Purple-girl shot back. Wait, do I think she said what she just said?

"Outcast?" I asked incredulously. 

"Yep. That's my name." Green-girl, supposedly 'Outcast', cheerfully replied. Purple-girl smiled. 

"Hmmm... perhaps you're interested in what we have to say after all," purple-girl said thoughtfully. "I'm Scourge."

"... Scourge? Outcast? Huh?" I said finally, my eyes wide, my legs bringing me into a standing position subconsciously. What was with the strange names? Were the two women, like, evil or something? (That tattoo on Outcast's arm was giving me the creeps)

God, I hoped not. 

Scourge grinned as if she was _relishing_ the fact that I was a little scared. "There is no need to be frightened at our names. We are the messengers of the Powers. We are master dimension-shifters,"

"We travel through time as if we were flying through the wind," Outcast continued. "We are what makes space and time in the dimensions all connected. We help keep balance." 

"And so, we are responsible for all of the descendants of the Powers. You, as a Divine One, are our responsibility for at least this moment. We are to show you your Star Matrix." Scourge finished, drawing out the last two words of the sentence.

I had heard of the Divine Beings, but never of a Star Matrix. Me being my book-wormy self, I was rather surprised to learn of something mystical that I had never even heard of. And so, I was less annoyed by the two mysterious spirits, and decided to find out what they were to tell me.

"A Star Matrix?" I asked. Outcast smiled.

"We'll show you when we get there." The dark haired girl turned, and called out to the stars,

"PEGASUS!" Outcast shouted so loud, I thought my ears would explode. Scourge seemed to feel the same way, considering that she was doubled up on the ground, her teeth gritted together.

Hey, at least it wasn't as bad as Willow's tantrum.

"Outcast! Do you always have to yell so loud?" Scourge muttered when the dark haired girl finally quit yelling. 

"Hey, it's not like anyone's gonna hear us!"

"But it's so freaking loud! Even Tara was doubled over!" The blonde argued, but I didn't really listen.

"Wait, how do you know my name?" I asked suspiciously. Scourge practically started howling with laughter and Outcast giggled a little bit.

"Are you  _insane_ _?_ Everyone knows your name! At least everyone in every single other dimension! You're the first Divine One since the 17th century!" Scourge said, patting her hand on my shoulder. 

I didn't even have time to reply when a big, winged horse appeared and glided to the ground.

Could the world get even more messed up? 

You would think that a pegasus would be a white horse with white wings. But, of course, as usual, you and I were wrong. 

This pegasus was bay with black wings, at least from what I could tell, the horse being in the sky, and I being on the ground. Eventually, though, the horse swooped down and landed beside Scourge and Outcast.

There was something achingly familiar about him, most of the familiarities I had in my mind took me back to my childhood in Tucson, Arizona, and let's just say that that wasn't the happiest childhood ever. Though horses did remind me of some happy times. 

Mother used to bring my sister and I out to a stable in the mountains, and we would ride horses. My favorite time to do so was in the middle of the monsoon season, when it was pouring rain and lightning was always flashing. There were also a lot of rainbows that appeared behind the hills and in the sky. Sometimes there were two out at the same time. Before Donny turned seven, he would go with us and he would dance in the rain with Ivy (In case I haven't mentioned her yet, that's my sister), Mother, and I. 

But then Father took him away and wouldn't let him spend time with my sister and me. I might explain more later, but it's hard talking about that...

I never even told Willow about Ivy. Or my past. It's something I was going to bring up later, but then I, of course, died. Oh well...

Anyway, the pegasus reminded me of my favorite horse, Bailey. He got me through some dark times in my middle school years, and the first half of my freshman year in high school. He died maybe a week after my sister died, from colic. I watched him die.

But enough about that. It's hard to talk about those times.

The pegasus looked at me squarely, his black eyes scanning my face and hair. Scourge patted the pegasus similarly to how she patted me. It's as if she thought that we were beneath her and Outcast.

Which I could say is possibly true, considering Scourge and Outcast had glowy eyes, and I didn't.

It would be cool if my eyes glowed blue. 

"So this is the new Divine One?" The pegasus said, turning to the two other girls. My mouth opened in shock; things were already getting pretty weird, but a talking _pegasus?_ That was just going waaaaaaaay too far for my comfort. 

"Does anyone mind if I pass out?" I muttered.

"Yep." Outcast muttered, looking at her nails. To which comment she was replying to, I wasn't sure.

Oh, so now I was so boring and disappointing that nails are more interesting than me? Wait till they hear my horror story. It's called: _My Life_.  

I'm starting to sound like Buffy. Maybe I should get annoyed more often. 

Scourge rolled her eyes at Outcast and turned back to me. 

"So, Pegasus is your transportation to all other dimensions. However, he will only appear if you have a pure intent and are not going to the depths of Hell, where it is impossible to travel to unless you are ready for eternal pain and regret, which Pegasus would wish not to experience."

"You betcha!" Pegasus cut in, raising his brown head high and flapping his black wings lightly.

"But wait... why do I have a winged horse as transportation?" I asked, head tilted in curiosity. Scourge smiled, as if she were proud to answer the question. However, much to the blonde's disappointment, Outcast answered matter-of-factly first.

"Because you were born in the fall, and the constellation Pegasus is best viewed during the fall, especially October, which is your birth month. And so, you were chosen to have Pegasus as your transportation, animal guide, or whatever you want to call it. There you have it." Outcast said, while braiding a lock of her dark brown hair.

"Have I mentioned to you all how weird this is, yet?" I muttered, my hands on the hips of my green kimono-like top. Scourge laughed out loud, while Outcast simply acknowledged my comment by shrugging. 

"It only gets weirder from here," Scourge said slyly, and then took Outcast's hand. "We'll see you at your Star Matrix. Pegasus, you know where to go."

"Uh-huh!" Pegasus neighed back, head high. I watched as Scourge and Outcast slowly evanesced into the night. Turning to Pegasus, I formed a small smile, while he lowered his neck so that he was eye level with me. 

Reaching out a hand, I lightly patted his nose, and he smiled.

"So, I guess we should be going now?" I asked the winged stallion. His head went high again, and said,

"Yes! Next stop, Estarla! The star dimension." Pressing his wings against the sides of his muscular, brown-furred body, I climbed expertly onto Pegasus.

 

With a running start, and a swoosh of his raven wings, Pegasus and I took off into the night.

 

 

**To Be Continued...**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes! Finally done! This chapter took FOREVER. 
> 
> But I do like it. Probably one of my best so far! I would like to know how well I did and what you think of the new characters, Scourge and Outcast. I promise you, they will be in the next chapter, and maybe other chapters throughout the fanfiction. Every character I introduce into this will be seen again, so there are no one-time characters in this, except for maybe very minor ones. :)
> 
> Did you pick out the quotes from Welcome to the Hellmouth and The Harvest in there? I hid them extra well. ;D


	13. Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part I of Tara's adventure in Estarla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's a short chapter, but so much is going to happen in the next chapter, your mind will be BLOWN!
> 
> Sorry for disappearing off the face of the Earth for a while... I've just been REALLY busy lately. :P

Dimension travel wasn't as pleasant as I thought it would be, but it wasn't exactly being brainsucked either. 

Pegasus flapped his feathery wings as he flew towards the stars, black mane streaming out behind him and brushing my face. I've ridden horses bareback before, but the wings protruding from Pegasus's shoulders were sort of annoying when trying to find a comfortable position on his back, which added to my worry as he gained speed.

Stars blurred; the clouds were far below us. It occurred to me that I should be suffocating by now, but then I remembered that I was dead. (I would've facepalmed, but I was not about to let go of Pegasus's mane) 

All of a sudden, Pegasus seemed to go at light speed, stars swirled around us in a funnel-looking shape, rotating at sickening speeds until I finally had to close my eyes for my stomach wasn't feeling great. 

I could feel cold air blowing in my face, and when I cracked my eyelids open a little, they were forced shut again by blinding white light. My sweaty palms gripped to Pegasus's mane tighter. What I thought to be stars pelted my face like raindrops, though I knew in the world of science that they were supposed to be giant balls of gas. However, this wasn't exactly a science-y situation, so I let the thought pass. 

Finally, everything stopped. The light died, stars stopped smacking me in the face, and the winged horse's speed had dropped to a glide. Slowly, I opened my eyes to see a great expanse of bottomless "land". Everything was like outer space, but the planets were not present. Occasionally, there was an island or two of glowing light, but otherwise, it was just empty sky and stars. I guess that's why it's called Estarla. 

"Welcome to Estarla, our final destination," Pegasus snorted, drifting downward to a specific island of light. "This place has no demons... well, no life to date. However, Estarla holds all of the Star Matrixes, which is vital to the Powers that Be, so this dimension plays an important role in our world." the horse nickered, slowly floating closer to the island. 

I stared in awe at the dimension that surrounded me; nothing I had ever read about was anything like this. Slowly, my hands relaxed their grip on Pegasus's mane, and I felt my arms reach out from side to side, completely balancing my body on Pegasus's back. 

However, my hands quickly flew back down to Pegasus's mane when he made an unexpected dip down to the island of light. I could now make out the figures of Scourge and Outcast again. They were engaged in a game of... Go Fish? 

As the winged horse swooped closer, I could indeed see that Outcast and Scourge were sitting on the light, playing Go Fish with some ancient kind of "cards". This is what they do in their free time? Gee, it must be nice to have an eternal job.

Eventually, Pegasus was able to land on the island of light, and he walked over to Outcast and Scourge, who immediately shuffled around, trying to hide the cards. I laughed softly, those two were interesting. 

Outcast motioned me over, so I swung off of Pegasus, accidentally pulled a feather off doing so, which elicited an angry response from Pegasus. "That's what you thank me with? I might as well just fly off and provide you no transportation back to your own dimension!"

"I'm sorry." I whispered, gently picking up the feather. I held it in my hand for a second, and then it suddenly started to glow. The feather floated, though there was no wind in this dimension, and stuck itself back where it was before I accidentally tore it off with my weight. 

Pegasus's eyes were wide. He reared up happily, wings flapping. 

"Scourge! Outcast! We have another Divine One!" he screamed out. Scourge and Outcast just looked at him.

"We  _know_." Scourge muttered. Pegasus stopped whooping. _  
_

"Oh, yeah... whoops. Little bit of a horse moment there. We're supposed to have good memory, but..." Pegasus didn't finish the sentence, he just trailed off and then flew off into the depths of Estarla.

"Isn't he supposed to wait for me?" I wondered out loud as I walked over to where Scourge and Outcast were. 

"He'll be back." Outcast promised as I reached them. They both seemed to glow more here... maybe it was the lighting. Then I stared down at my hand. 

_Oh goddess, it's glowing blue!_ I thought, and shoved my hand behind my back. I figured that my whole body must have some sort of blue aura. Well, it's better than a white one. 

"Anyway, we have something to show you." Scourge said, her violet eyes boring into mine. Scourge grabbed my right hand, Outcast my left, and they joined their free hands together. A perfect triangle. 

Outcast's eyes were shut tightly, as if she was the one with the power inside of her. The woman's eyebrows were pressed down hard, her hands were shaking. I gasped as I saw that her tattoo was glowing green; glowing like the energy that was no doubt surging through her body. 

I had never seen anything like it. I had seen Willow channel dark power before... but this... this was beyond it. And Outcast took it as if she had a thousand times the strength of a Slayer. Which, maybe she does. Energy seemed to  _ooze_ from her, bright light radiated from the tiny cracks between her eyelids and eyeballs. 

Suddenly, her eyes flung open, and she turned her face to the sky, mouth open. I saw Scourge shut her eyes tight and concentrate hard. Eventually, purple light erupted from Outcast's mouth, and billowed out into the stars. 

I figured I had to do the same. Scourge eventually opened her eyes and looked expectantly at me. Hesitantly, I shut my eyes and concentrated on the energy inside of me, imagining blue light flooding throughout my body. My palms sweated, my legs shook. 

Though my eyes were closed, I felt like I was being blinded by light. I gasped; no spell I had ever attempted reached to anything of this caliber. My whole body shook; I turned my head up, (At least I thought that was the direction I was facing. There was too much light to see anything) panting so hard that I thought I would faint.

Well, I did. I think. Black crowded the white in my vision, and I felt a falling sensation. Then I lost feeling of everything, all my senses had plunged into dark.

 

 

**To Be Continued...**


	15. Author's Note

HOLY SHIT. Okay, so my friend had this Angel episode up on her computer, and I just sorta watched it with her while writing an essay. (It was some sort of season 4 episode. Faith got out of prison or something) Then I heard Wesley comment to Faith about Cordelia being a Divine Being. I think my world fell apart right there. 

So, now, I will say: THIS FANFIC DOES NOT GO BY 'Angel' LOGIC. (I have not seen all of 'Angel', and it's too late in the game to change up the whole crazy, chaotic magicky... mentality in this) WHATEVER CORDELIA IS (or was, apparently) WILL NOT BE THE SORT OF THING TARA IS. THIS IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT. I THINK.

Anyway, I'm sorry I'm being so slow. I just haven't really had time to sit down and write this. At this point, I really can't honestly say how long it will take me to finish the next chapter, but I'm taking my time, so it may be weeks. Or months. Anyone suggesting years would not be accused of being crazy. 

So yeah... :P I've had my rant. Goodbye now! :)


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